Today while reading my Bible, I had a thought pop into my head:

Why do so many people end up eternally separated from God?

That question stuck with me.

I was brought up Southern Baptist, and if I’m being honest, that’s part of what pushed me away from Christianity for a long time. A mix of church hurt, hypocrisy, and just… too much religion.

I know I’m not the only one who can relate to that.

So I started thinking…

If Calvinism—the idea that God already chooses who will be saved—is true, then what’s the point of even sharing the gospel?

Why go out and witness if the outcome is already decided?

That didn’t sit right with me.

But at the same time, I couldn’t ignore that there are Scriptures that seem to support it.

God hardened Pharaoh’s heart.
God humbled and later restored the king of Babylon.

There’s clearly a pattern in the Bible where God hardens and softens hearts.

So then I asked myself:

If God hardens someone’s heart so they can’t see the truth…
isn’t He ultimately deciding who is saved and who isn’t?

That would support Calvinism.

But I’m not someone who just accepts things at face value. I have to dig.

So I did.

What I Started to Notice

When I looked deeper, I realized something important:

God doesn’t seem to randomly harden hearts.

Instead, what I kept seeing was this:

• When people continually choose sin and reject truth,
• God gives them over to it
• And their hearts become even more hardened as a result

That’s not random. That’s a pattern.

And honestly, if you didn’t grow up walking closely with God, you can probably relate to this.

Sin doesn’t feel heavy at first.

But the more you ignore conviction:

• the quieter your conscience gets
• the easier it becomes
• and before you know it, you’re living far from God without even thinking about it

Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom before someone finally turns back.

(That’s a whole different post.)

So Why Are So Many Hearts Hardened?

This is where things got real for me.

I don’t think most people reject God because they hate truth.

I think a lot of people have hardened hearts because of life.

• Trauma
• Abuse
• Being mistreated by people who call themselves Christians
• Watching hypocrisy up close

That leaves a mark.

It makes people pull away, put up walls, and avoid anything related to Jesus.

I was one of those people.

And then there are those born into completely different belief systems:

• Muslim
• Hindu
• Jewish
• Cultural traditions

That’s all they’ve ever known.

Their identity is tied into it.

To even question it feels like their entire world could collapse.

So of course they resist.

Of course they’re closed off.

That’s not always rebellion.

Sometimes that’s fear.

So What About Calvinism?

I understand the argument.

Calvinists say:
“God chooses who will be saved, and we share the gospel as the means He uses.”

But I still struggle with that.

Because if everything is already decided, then evangelism starts to feel like going through the motions.

And that doesn’t match how Jesus interacted with people.

Jesus:

• pursued people
• spoke to them personally
• showed compassion
• responded to their choices

He didn’t treat people like they were pre-selected or locked out.

What I Believe Now

After digging into Scripture and really thinking this through, here’s where I land:

• God is all-knowing and sovereign
• But He does not override human response

I don’t believe God randomly picks people and says:

“You’re in, you’re out.”

I believe:

• God draws people
• God reveals truth
• God gives opportunities

But people still respond—or resist.

And when people continually reject truth, God allows them to go their own way… which hardens their heart even more.

What Actually Softens Hearts?

Not arguments.

Not debates.

Not pressure.

Love.

And I’m not talking about fake, surface-level kindness.

I’m talking about the kind of love Jesus showed:

• sitting with sinners
• not acting superior
• not condemning
• meeting people where they were

Let’s be real:

Most people have never experienced that kind of love from Christians.

And that’s a problem.

Because we’re supposed to represent Him.

A Hard Truth Christians Need to Hear

We are not better than anyone.

Not the addict.
Not the prostitute.
Not the homosexual.
Not the person living in sin.

We all fall short.

And if we walk around acting like we’re above others, we are misrepresenting Jesus completely.

Jesus didn’t avoid sinners.

He ate with them.

He loved them.

And that love is what changed them.

So What’s the Point of Sharing the Gospel?

Everything.

Because I believe:

• Every person should have the opportunity to hear
• Every heart has the potential to be softened
• And we are called to plant seeds

You don’t save people.

You:

• plant
• water
• love

And the Holy Spirit does the rest.

Final Thoughts

Yes, the road is narrow.

Yes, many people will still choose their own way.

But that’s not the same as God deciding ahead of time that they never had a chance.

Let’s Talk

This is something I’m still growing in and thinking through.

So I’d love to hear from you:

Do you lean more toward Calvinism or Arminianism—and why?